Late-Night/Morning Ramblings

I can't sleep. My thoughts are in such a flurry that I can't even enjoy Anchorman, which usually puts me in a good mood within seconds. This is big news for the nation and for the men and women overseas. But as I kept refreshing my Facebook wall and continued to be inundated with the cheers and jeers of my peers, I felt dread trickling down from the top of my head. I wasn't thinking of ways to celebrate; I was thinking of my husband, whose boots are on foreign soil. The troops have always been in danger: As optimistic as I am, I have never managed to entertain the delusion of a "safe" Iraq. With Osama's death, another reality comes into play: Retaliation.

....

It's morning now, and I still have a knot in my stomach. I fed the baby and thought that I would be able to get away with eating something light, like frozen yogurt. 30 minutes later, it's a soupy mess in a bowl that I haven't been able to touch.

I am conflicted, gleeful and terrified, and the worst part is feeling like I have no cause to be either of those things. I am not one of the people who has lost a loved one in this struggle, nor am I the one risking my life everyday. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here.....

I don't want to ramble too long. This isn't about me. Please pray for the men and women in uniform, for their families. Meanwhile, I am going to eat my glop, buck up, and get on with my day. That's the Army way.